The thing that kills me about some old ladies is exactly what I posted before: THEY DEFY their societal roles. I fucking love it. Forget the image of a little old lady baking cookies, these bitches are out on the TOWN, ready to ROCK, toting alka seltzer and a 16 year old boy groupie who she picked up when she showed the boys at the skatepark how to roll a blunt.
She won't take any shit from you, she will shove her cane so far up your rectal cavity that you will not know what day it is. She drives a Oldsmobile 1945 and hasn't gotten a license renewal in over 40 years, and she will go on and on about how good her driving is while wiping the guts off of her grill and window.
She lives alone and while people feel sorry for her for being alone for so long after her husband died, she will laugh as you walk out the door, knowing that she was the one who killed her husband and she has insane sex with your son's best friend while no one is around.
She keeps a Beretta.. No, a Smith and Wesson in her little tiny bag which she has kept and continued to restore since she bought it in 1881, and while you want to go and help her for the bag looking so heavy for her little hands, she will pull that shit on your stupid ass so fast you will not have time to scream... AND THEN she will hide the body or make a pie of you, feeding you to the homeless with her air of nothing but goodwill. That is probably the only time the kick ass old lady makes a pie.
So next time you see an old lady with an AK47 Semi Automatic, go and hug them.. Just make sure you do not get in their line of fire.
EDIT: See? This is what I am talking about. You know 2 girls 1 cup? This 91 year old lady sat there, watched it and pissed herself while everyone to the right of her looked away in disgust! LONG LIVE OLD LADIES!
- Current Mood: amused